After the Finish Line

April was a really good month for me. I think at least part of that is due to how early spring arrives here in Oklahoma. I was surprised to see flowers by mid-April and full leaves by the end of the month. Spring temperatures, colors, and sunshine always revive me.

I played my first graduate recital on April 12th. It went better than any recital that I've ever played before. Although I have a long ways to go, and I still got nervous, it was definitely a big step in the right direction.

Soon after my recital, I discovered that I won a competition that allows me play at the National Flute Association convention in August. I first auditioned for this three years ago and didn't get in. This was one of my major goals for the year, so I was on pins and needles waiting for the results to come out. And I'm in!

At the end of April, I ran the Oklahoma City Half Marathon. I have been running 4-6 days a week since November. I started because I took significant time off running and discovered I missed it, and my physical and mental health both needed a nice endorphin boost! I finished the race...it was very tough! A rain delay held the race back by almost two hours. It was a warm, humid day...70 degrees, which is about my maximum tolerance level. I walked quite a bit, but still managed to finish in 1:46 (8:06 per mile). I got 14th out of 751 in my age group, so not too shabby!

On top of all of these fun things, I finished my 15 page term paper, turned in my final project for another class, finished up ensembles, and with all of this behind me, I am about to cross the finish line of my first year of graduate school.

This week, I found myself tired and demotivated in general. I thought it was just fatigue from the race, but it has continued throughout the week. I found myself berating myself, asking...what's wrong with me?...Why am I not using my time more wisely?...Why is practicing not fun?

I stepped back and stopped to think. This has happened many times to me before. In fact, summer is often a difficult season for me, as my structured schedule disappears. Usually I let the disarray occur and sit back, watching time go by.

Today, I thought about the end of the half marathon...the celebration...the feeling of accomplishment....and I realized I usually fail to plan the answer to an important question...

What happens AFTER the finish line?

I get so caught up in the process of working toward the goal that I forget there is life after the goal! I have to continue to make goals to strive for, otherwise, it is no surprise that I taper off and feel demotivated. I never really thought about this before, as my adrenaline junkie self would wait for the "right" goal and get consumed in the efforts of reaching it.

Life isn't a mountain after all.

It is more like a staircase to heaven. One goal = one step, not the end all. The staircase doesn't end in this lifetime. Continued goals are needed to keep moving forward.

I found this picture on Twitter not too long ago, and I found it inspiring:

Another thing that I tend to forget is that you can't sprint up a staircase and expect to last very long. Sometimes, you need to sit on the stair and think, process, evaluate, and rest. The brain needs to absorb the fruits of one goal before processing information in the next. In this fast-paced, workaholic society, it is easy to forget that down times are not only OK, but necessary. I couldn't run a marathon every week and expect my body to recover, so I don't know why I often expect my mind to constantly move forward and absorb new information before it's ready.

 It is often after these creative dry spells that I make a big jump in progress. I didn't stop learning during these times (like it felt like), but my brain connected the dots in the information so I was able to use it in a concrete way.

I'm going to take my white space and start painting on it. I spent $100 on new running gear. I'm going to buy new flute music. I'll write a new workout training plan. I'll set goals. And I'll come back strong.

When you hit the finish line, enjoy it. Savor every bit of hard work that went into reaching your goal. ALLOW YOURSELF TO RECOVER, even if that means feeling like the laziest person in the world for a week. Just don't stay there. Use the down time to create a new game plan. Dream about all the fresh possibilities waiting for you to discover. Find a new "finish line," keep it in perspective as just another step, and go chase it!