The problem with this? I see the end. I see years from now. Then, I look at today. It doesn't add up [yet]. So, I expect more of myself. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I sometimes get caught up in that big picture, and I am not patient with myself in the small things.
I have been watching a series of YouTube videos from Tim VanOrden, a professional masters distance runner. A couple years ago, he published a set of videos about how to get out the door, even when depressed and unmotivated. He made a video every day during the dreary cold of Vermont winter, showing how he got out the door despite the un-motivating cold.
I relate a lot to these videos. Mr. VanOrden thinks very similarly to me. He has a fast mind, big goals, and a predisposition to anxiety. His advice has helped me in the last several days and caused me to fight, even when unmotivated.
For example, in one video, he talks about breaking activities down to the smallest steps. If he wants to go on a run, but isn't motivated, he thinks, not about "I HAVE to run," but "What is the NEXT step?"
This is as small as putting socks on. Then, he puts on shoes, a jacket, headphones, and before he knows it, what he calls the gravity of small actions has pulled him out the door.
I tried this the other day. I was feeling bummed out, and all I felt like doing was lying on my living room floor. I thought of the video: "What is my next action?" I put on running shorts, then a tank top, then shoes. I found my headphones, turned on my music. Before I knew it, I had finished a hill workout and felt a million times better. Tim said, "Putting on socks can save your life." I totally understand that now.
Confession: I'm not motivated to practice every day. It doesn't always sound appealing. Maybe some musicians are consistently motivated, but I have a feeling many are like me. We love our instruments, but sometime we hate the time-commitment-tie they have on us, too.
Why keep going? Who are the ones who persevere? We are the ones who do what we love, EVEN when we don't necessarily feel like it, because we know pushing through will ultimately make us happier than quitting. Meeting our goals and setting new ones give us a sense of accomplishment.
I tried the "next step" approach with my flute playing. "What is the next step?" : Put together your flute, play Taffanel/Gaubert #4, play Reichart #1, play long tones, open up your Paul-Edmund Davies warm-up book, play your Bach C Major Sonata mvt. 2 for articulation, play Carnival of the Animals..
Wow...I just got an hour of warm-ups in.
If I don't feel motivated to work on pieces : Pick up the music, open up your Reinecke Concerto, memorize the first two lines, the first section...
Before I know it, I've played 3 hours total.
"But I don't WANT to study theory!!" whines my inner self. : Pick up the book, read half a chapter, do an exercise....
I reviewed first and second species counterpoint.
"Oh my goodness, I have to pass SIX sections of music history tests!!" " First step...pick up the book, read about the late middle ages for a couple days.
I know what the Ars Nova is.
.......
You get the idea. Give it a try in your own life. Don't put the pressure of the world on yourself all at once. Try small, achievable goals, whether it is in fitness, music, work, talking to people, whatever... It helps so much.
Set those big goals. But don't forget about the small, achievable goals that get us there. Every step, no matter if it is just putting socks on, gets us closer to the big picture we see in our mind.
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