I recently got back to Stillwater after a 4-day excursion to Southwest Nebraska for a friend's wedding. I drove between 3-7 hours each day to make it happen. That's friendship dedication!
I woke up this lovely Tuesday morning with a headache, stuffy sinuses, a general feeling of tiredness. (It also feels VERY warm in my apartment...usually my apartment feels cold in the morning so I think I have at least heated up some.) Apparently, my body had just enough "oomph" to make it there, look pretty for my friend, and come back. Since my body is very slow moving and not-so-good feeling this morning, I decided to take a little extra time sipping my coffee and waiting for my cold medicine to kick in before going to campus. Meaning - time for a new blog post!
I performed in studio for the first time last week. It was nice to perform a solo piece again. With student teaching last semester, my performance opportunities were very limited, and they continued to be limited over the summer. I played Robert Dick's Lookout for solo flute. The piece was written for high school students as an introductory piece of extended techniques. I enjoy it, because I haven't played multiphonics (2 or more pitches sounding at the same time) before, so this piece has been a great learning tool for me.
In studio here, everyone writes comments to each other about what they liked about the performance and also what aspects could be improved. I really enjoy this open forum and exchange of ideas! The studio here definitely is open to making each other better musicians, which I appreciate.
A recurring theme on my comment cards I received this week was stage presence. One comment really caught my attention. It said, "I'm not sure if it is because you have student taught, or because you are a graduate assistant, but your stage presence is nice to watch."
As an inquisitive person who likes to think about the "whys" of everything, I put some thought into this comment. Why do I have the stage presence I do?
I started by thinking about student teaching and being a teaching assistant here. I realized that, yes, having that experience speaking in front of people definitely helped, but it wasn't the sole reason for my stage presence.
I enjoy researching random topics that come to mind. Lately, I really have been doing some digging into what makes me "tick" as a person and why I am the way I am. I have noticed that I don't process information in quite the same way as most people, even among musicians. It has been my personal quest to figure out why.
I was watching some YouTube videos last summer that were created by Tim VanOrden, a professional masters distance runner. I think I stumbled upon his channel because I was looking for videos on healthy eating and some of his videos popped up. He posted a series of videos labeled "Getting Started" that talked about the day-to-day struggles in training for a race. In one of his videos, he talked about a character trait called "Highly Sensitive Person." I remember being interested at the time, but didn't research further.
As I have noticed continual differences between me and many other people, the HSP term returned to mind. I researched it, and was surprised to find something that explained everything about my personality. This character trait has been shown in research studies to be found in 15-20% of the population, and is characterized by a tendency to process information deeply, feel emotions deeply, have high empathy for others (caring), and increased sensitivity to their environment in comparison to those without the trait. I found a video by the leading psychologist on this subject, Elaine Aron, and she even mentioned giving recitals. People with this character trait often practice a lot but are more easily overwhelmed on stage due to high sensitivity to lights, crowds, etc.
Back to stage presence: I have found that I relate music to emotions, pictures, etc., easier than many that I have met. I have often been confused that connecting emotion and musical performance is something many have to work at, when to me, it is like breathing - involuntary and natural. Sometimes, I can't describe the emotion in words, but it is strong and fills my body with expression.
After my performance on Thursday, I confirmed how I can overcome my stage fright! I have discovered, that if I take my concentration and channel it completely into the musical feeling I want to project, the nerves can't get in as easily. And when I say completely, I mean completely. As soon as I think about which notes come next, or the dynamics on the page, or the people looking at me, or anything else, that is when the mistakes come.
I had a lot of time to think about the topic of stage presence on my drive back from Nebraska yesterday. What creates a strong, convincing performance? I believe good stage presence is one that shows the audience the performer's personality. It could be called "personality presence," in a sense. It comes from reaching deep into ourselves and opening up the depth of our personalities and experiences.
I have often heard other music majors say that they need to practice more and more and more. I believe this is true to an extent, but gathering life experience is also important to a convincing performance. By opening up perception to a variety of experiences and human emotions, the performer can store those emotions and call upon them for future musical expression.
I realized Thursday, after testing the theory of completely focusing on the one message I wanted to project, I felt more in control and confident in my performance. I recognized this feeling as the same one I used to get while competing in high school speech. I used to think I was putting on a confident persona and assuming an acting role. However, after discovering that my best musical performances feel similar, I no longer believe the outspoken role is a "persona." I believe this confident person is my uninhibited self I occasionally set free from my socially acceptable, quieter part of me. Now that I know that the confident person is my true self, I can layer X expressive emotion over that and create a strong message.
My high sensory perception has been mislabeled as many things over the years due to misunderstanding - even my own misunderstanding of myself. Now, I realize I have been given a gift and am accepting the increased sensitivity to emotions and pictures as the greatest expressive tool I have. I will never struggle to find the musical message I want because of this trait. The key is in becoming so mentally enmeshed in that message that my high sensory awareness forgets the eyes watching me or the worry about the notes. I have found if I can dwell and breathe and completely live in my musical feeling and message, all my hard technical work from the practice room comes out easier.
To enhance your stage presence, think of it as personality presence and let the best you shine!
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