With the Thanksgiving holiday coming up soon, I want to take the time to mention some things about my flute playing experience that I am thankful for this semester:
I am thankful for...
*the ability to come to OSU at all. Without the help of my assistantship, I wouldn't have been able to afford to study for my masters degree right now.
*the opportunity to learn from someone new. It is always good to hear information told in a new way.
*the music students here. There are many intelligent, talented, and dedicated young musicians here.
*the transformation my tone has begun to take this semester. I finally have developed my "home base" sound, something I have been striving after for years. The new goal is discovering ways to vary the color of that base sound.
*drastic technique improvements. I picked up a piece of music yesterday and realized the notes weren't a huge obstacle. I've had maybe 3 practice sessions on the piece, and the notes are mostly there. The same piece would have scared me away a year or so ago.
*piccolo excerpts! I have never studied them before, but diving in has definitely made me a better piccoloist.
*learning how to practice. I used to play, get frustrated, and leave the practice room in a bad mood frequently. I notice I have more tools in my belt to use and have more good practice days.
*fantastic ensembles. The large ensembles here are wonderful.
*teaching. I always love helping other people.
*a better trained ear. I thought my ear was pretty well developed during my undergrad, but I hear things in much higher detail now. It is like I am beginning to truly hear music for the first time.
Some of the things I am thankful for are much deeper than mere practice discoveries. I am learning more and more that I am here for something much more profound than learning the intricacies of an instrument. I am here on a journey of self-discovery. I am getting to know myself and understanding what has made me "tick" as a person. I am learning what has made me afraid to perform and what I can do to change the neural pathways to more positive thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs.
The more I learn about myself, and the more positive thoughts I foster within myself, the more I get a feeling that this is all bigger than me. I have a sense that I am meant to untangle obstacles I once accepted as truths and restructure myself so I will be able to help someone else someday. I keep hearing an inner voice that says, "Someone out there needs my help, and I will need the skills I am learning for myself in order to help that person when they need it."
I would like to end with a word of gratitude to YOU! I have received meaningful messages of support from readers of my blog telling me that my words encourage them. These messages have been largely unexpected, but very much appreciated. They uplift me and remind me that the work being done here is bigger than me and valuable. So thank you, thank you, thank you!
Happy Thanksgiving to all. Find gratitude and peace in the joyous moments, the confusing moments, the easy and difficult moments. There is work being done in every occurrence in life. We just have to take a step back and look at it all in a new way. :)
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