#1: Kearney, Nebraska: Earlier this month, I tied up the loose ends I had in Kearney. I saw friends, kept practicing, studied music history (a lot!), and of course, packed. There aren't many things in this world that I hate, but packing is one of them...due to how my creative brain functions, it hates things like cleaning, packing, and organizing...but it got done somehow!
#2: Omaha, Nebraska: On August 7, the UNK flute studio loaded up vehicles to head to Omaha! The flute choir was accepted to perform at the National Flute Convention in New Orleans, so we needed to head to Omaha the night before so we could catch our 5:45 am flight (yawn!) on the 8th. I enjoyed the travel. It was a great way to spend time with my flute studio friends before making new ones here at OSU.
The University of Nebraska-Kearney flute studio, before leaving for National Flute Convention.
#4 New Orleans, Louisiana: The convention in New Orleans was my second National Flute Convention. The first time I went to convention (Anaheim 2010), I felt like I was in flute heaven. I soaked up every little session I could and didn't want to leave. This time was a little different. I found that I could only take the sessions in small doses. Instead of feeling like I could do anything, I felt a bit inhibited. I saw the incredible talent and felt so far behind. I remembered my college track coach's words...when I started improving in the mile and became good enough to race against competition from D-1 schools, I had experienced this same feeling of incompetence. He told me that, the better the competition gets, the worse you feel about your ability. A person could choose to stay on the lower tier of ability and feel very good about her ability. But only by jumping into the upper tier of talent can one improve. The fact that I have the ability to make it to this tier, if only at the bottom of it, is a great compliment to my potential.
A few highlights of convention: I spent a LOT of time in the exhibit hall trying out gold flutes for fun! :) I even picked out a 10k gold used Haynes that would be fantastic to own...if I had $17,000!!
The 10K gold Haynes flute that I wish I could afford! Maybe someday!
I took a lesson with one of my favorite flutists, Gary Schocker. For some reason, my stage fright nerves followed me into that room. He helped me recognize that my performance problems extend beyond the flute. When I get nervous, I close down my voice into my chest. This transfers over into my flute playing. I learned a lot of interesting information that is helping my playing already!
Gary Schocker, performing his Three Dances for Two Flutes at National Flute Convention.
On the last day of the convention, I went to see a session by a performance anxiety specialist. I have been desperate to solve my anxiety issues, and I had a feeling that she could help. I ran into Helen Spielman before her session and chatted for awhile. I got some time to talk after the session, and told her my story...about testing at a high level of anxiety, about people telling me just to practice more to solve anxiety, about how I have so much music inside that often is left unsaid. I teared up a bit when she told me she has helped many people just like me!
#5: Chicago, Illinois: We woke up before 3 am to catch our flight back home. I slept for most of the flight into Chicago. Then, we caught the flight from Chicago back to Nebraska.
#6: Omaha, Nebraska: By the time we had arrived back in Nebraska, everyone was ready to be home! But we still had a 3 hour drive ahead of us.
#7: Kearney, Nebraska: When I got home, I was exhausted! Thankfully, my parents were a little late arriving with the trailer in which to load my belongings. I needed time to rest! I also got an hour of flute practice in, which was good. By the time all of my stuff was loaded and we got to Ruby Tuesday for supper, it was 9 pm (again, yawn!!)
#8: Stillwater, Oklahoma: We left Kearney at around 9 am. With stops, we arrived in Stillwater a little after 4 pm. About 10 miles north of the Kansas border, I finally felt what I had been searching for all summer: peace and a little excitement. God flooded me with this feeling that said, "Thank you, my child, for trusting Me, even when you did not see how it was going to turn out."
I got to my apartment, checked in, and we unloaded everything. The apartment smelled strongly of cleaning supplies at first, and I broke out in a few hives (eek!). We had the carpet re-cleaned yesterday, and things seem ok now.
I went to campus yesterday to practice, and once in the practice room, playing flowed. I felt at home. Again, God comforted me with His presence, telling me, as my loving Father, "Good job, I am proud of you."
I'm excited to finally be settled in Stillwater!
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